Things On My Living Room Floor: A Comprehensive Inventory

  • Couch (1)
  • Side chair (1)
  • Fuzzy sheep-shaped ottoman (1)
  • Faux cowhide rug (1)
  • Midcentury modern coffee table (1)
  • Bookshelves (2)
  • Media console (1)
  • Elaborate cardboard box fort (1)
  • Pieces from a Richard Scarry board game (3)
  • Pieces from a Disney board game (1)
  • Pieces from a board game for adults that hasn’t been played in so long no one can remember the name of it but it’s the kind that has an author credit on the lid (2)
  • Bagel fragments (7)
  • Individual shoes and/or socks with no mates visible (3)
  • My Little Pony figures (4)
  • Plastic IKEA children’s bowls (2)
  • Plastic IKEA children’s plates (2)
  • Plastic IKEA children’s forks (3)
  • Pillows that are supposed to be on the couch (4)
  • Pillows that are supposed to be on the chair (2)
  • Pillows that are supposed to be in the playroom (2)
  • Pillow that belongs somewhere else and no one knows how it got here (1)
  • Additional bagel fragments (4)
  • Waffle crumbs (3,283,753,279)
  • Cup (empty) (1)
  • Water, ounces (formerly in cup) 3
  • Broom (not for sweeping, OBVIOUSLY) (1)
  • Mostly-empty rolls of duct tape for box fort (3)
  • Pipe cleaners (???) (17)
  • Hairbrushes (2) (Related: Number of hairbrushes located near children’s clothing and bathing areas: 0)
  • Giannis Antetokounmpo figurine (1)
  • Ray Allen throwback edition insulated lunch bag (1)
  • Cat scratching post (1)
  • Cat (1)
  • Stickers – sheets (4)
  • Stickers – individual, used (38)
  • Assorted writing utensils, not including crayon splinters (47)
  • Blu-Ray discs and Wii games (unusable since neither Blu-Ray player nor Wii is connected to TV) (3)
  • Glue, bottle, for attaching things to box fort (1)
  • Rhinestones, loose, either previously or not yet attached to box fort (8)
  • Toys and pieces thereof, assorted plastic, located under couch that husband claimed to have swept under (473)

Addendum

This list will be updated to include bagel fragments (712) not originally recorded in original publication.

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