That’s what they call it when you listen to a couple of podcasts and Google some stuff, right?
OK, fine, despite going to college for seven years and earning two degrees, I am somehow not an epidemiologist (turns out you have to actually study science). That has not stopped me from pumping out a near-daily coronavirus newsletter for the last month-plus, just like it hasn’t stopped your mom’s weird cousin from posting Facebook memes about how the virus is either (a) made up or (b) just a bad flu or (c) somehow due to 5G (in which case you’d think she’d get off her GD phone instead of posting links to junk science sites).
I don’t really know what I was thinking when I decided that now was the time to revive my newsletter, except that it seemed like the only thing I could do? Much like the federal government, I wasn’t sure how to respond to the COVID-19 pandemic, and I hastily came up with a plan, and now I’m staying the course with my half-plan even though I don’t know where I’m going with it or why I’m doing this particular thing or how long I expect it will last.
Here’s what I do know:
- Your farts can spread the virus.
- We are definitely not but also possibly maybe breaking up into several smaller countries.
- Nobody knows how to use the Target drive-up system.
- A lot of people are bad at poetry.
- We’re not even supposed to be calling it “social distancing” anymore.
You can check out these and other back issues here, and sign up to get on the mailing list if you want gems like these assailing your inbox every weekday for the foreseeable future. (Fair warning: If you think the virus is overblown and we should let some people die “for the economy,” you’re not gonna like it, and I’m sure there’s some tinfoil hat newsletter or armchair constitutional scholar Facebook group out there that will be a better fit.)